So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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