she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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