Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
