i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
