Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
