i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
