Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
