Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
