In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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