dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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