dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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