I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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