I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
