i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
