So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk is not a location!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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