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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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