i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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