I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
