apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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