Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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