I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she told me i tasted like america
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
