a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
