we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
