he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
