Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
