I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
