U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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