Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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