If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
