i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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