If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
