hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
