Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
