You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
