took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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