just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
