I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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