I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
