So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
