So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
