I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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