Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
