spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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