wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
