She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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