Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
