If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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