im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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