My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
