Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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