It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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