Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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