I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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