I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
