That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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