wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
