He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
